How your cat wakes you up in the morning

by David on October 21, 2007

Onion Gems

by David on October 20, 2007

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of “skeleton people”—skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an estimated 6,000 years ago

The Onion, Skeleton People

Fat Owl Falconer : I’m not rich

by David on October 15, 2007

A Norfolk pensioner was forced to eat cardboard because he was so poor.

… the elderly Norwich man was forced into the extreme measure out of desperation because he was living in such poverty, and that it only came to light when he came into Age Concern’s offices.

Pensioner forced to eat cardboard

The prime minister is involved in a row with Lord Falconer, the former lord chancellor, over the size of his pension.

Those close to him say Falconer does not regard himself as a rich man.

The Times, Gordon Brown puts block on Falconer pension


by David on October 13, 2007

  • In 1517, Pope Leo X offered indulgences [the remission of temporal punishment due to sins] for those who gave alms to rebuild St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. The aggressive marketing practices of Johann Tetzel in promoting this cause provoked Martin Luther to write his 95 theses

    Can’t stand the sanctimony of the 21st century’s answer to Indulgences? Well here’s Carbon Credit Killers to increase your carbon footprint and take away Al Gore’s Carbon Credits.

  • From the lolcat bible:

    Everwun what reedz these wurdz will has cheezburgrz and everwun what heerz theez wurdz will has cheezburgrz

Ban It

by David on October 13, 2007

The parents of a County Durham schoolboy, who choked to death on a plastic pen top, are stepping up their campaign to get them banned.

BBC, Family want plastic pen tops ban

In other news, all cliffs in the UK are to be levelled, all ponds, pools and lakes to be filled in and the countryside covered in foam rubber.

An inquest heard the air hole on the top became blocked with crisps and he died

And all crisps will be withdrawn from sale.


by David on October 8, 2007

  • Dai sevn, u no werk. U and all ur peepz go wrship meThe lolcat Bible – for other ergodic literature , try Riddley Walker
  • You Be good. I love you were the last words of Alex, the Grey Parrot who’s died after helping researchers at Brandeis University for 30 years.Bugger Washoe.
  • Hitchens, A Death in the Family. Such a difficult piece to write, so easy to have got it wrong, so like him to get it spot on with such little apparent artifice. Such a tribute:
    Your cause of sorrow / Must not be measured by his worth, for then / It hath no end.