Those Motels off the Interstate

When a colleague, himself recently returned from Las Vegas, asked about my holiday plans for touring Colorado and Utah he said, “I suppose you’ve booked all your hotels“.

Well, no. My partner Helen always takes on the bulk of planning and she books in advance only the first night’s hotel, because we’re always late in from the airport and on previous visits to the US we have been required to write down at least our first night’s address on the green entry cards (although I noticed on this most recent holiday we were allowed to write that we were touring). Helen usually also books the last, or last two nights, at the end of the holiday. The rest we leave to chance, wherever we go. Such a careless strategy always works and in the States anything else seems completely unnecessary and hardly ever regrettable.

So most of the nights are spent in inexpensive Holiday Inns and Days Inns and Comfort Inns and Super 8s, booked in the evening when we turn up in a town. Most US towns have a strip with the budget motels and fast-food chains and there’s nearly always room at the inn.

Except twice. In 2004, we were pushed to find a room in Visalia, CA after we’d spent an afternoon walking in the Sierra Nevada and arrived rather late in the evening. This year, after a fruitless trip to Dinosaur, Co (the previously-open dinosaur beds were closed to tourists) we drove on towards the Rocky Mountain National Parkbut decided to break the journey in the small, undistinguished town of Craig. In wasn’t too late and we didn’t expect any problem - except it was hunting season and Craig’s a base used by enthusiastic game hunters. Nearly everywhere was full except for the eponymous Craig Motel, to which we were referred by a helpful desk clerk at the Craig Holiday Inn

Craig Motel

The Craig Motel, Craig, Colorado

We were welcomed into a ramshackle office by the owner, a Chinese woman who’d spent a few years in Birkenhead (UK) and escaped to the States as soon as she could. She was very pleasant but our rooms were dark and smelled of disinfectant and air freshener.  The bathroom was fairly clean but the toilet slowly leaked water from the cistern to the bowl so every time we flushed, the first flush would be entirely dry and we had to wait for the cistern to fill again. Neighbours in the courtyard of ground-floor rooms were hunters or longer-term residents who seemed to have settled in with their families. On the other hand it was very, very cheap.

The Curtis

The Curtis Hotel, Denver, on 14th and Curtis

The prize for the most amusing hotel has to go to The Curtis, Denver, which we booked for our last two nights. Each floor of the Curtis is themed and ours, the 13th, was the horror floor. The lift spoke as it slowed to a stop: “Here’s Johnny“, Jack Nicholson in The Shining, and opposite the lift door was a large photo of Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The rooms themselves, thankfully, eased up on the theming and there were nice touches like an iPod holder and player, even if it was built into the radio alarm clock shaped like a VW Beetle Convertible…

Andrew Sullivan’s Moralising

Some evangelicals tout Obama’s family values. The contrast with the once-philandering, adulterous divorcé running for the GOP goes unstated:

Andrew Sullivan, Christianists For Obama

Sullivan usually has little time for evangelicals interfering in politics, despite his own obsession with politics and Catholicism. When it comes to evangelicals for Obama, though, Sullivan repeats their snide insinuations and adds his own bile.

The phrase used to describe McCain - a once-philandering, adulterous divorcé - is Sullivan’s alone but what could be Sullivan’s objection to a reformed philanderer? For Sullivan, who is so adamant that the Church of the famously hedonistic and sexually licentious Augustine can encompass his own homosexuality, objecting to McCain in this way invites clichéd responses about motes and beams and casting stones. It’s not only in his own sexual life that Sullivan finds himself at odds with his faith’s traditions and teaching.

Injun Trouble

The Denver Art Museum has on display a poorly executed but anthropologically interesting painting called, ‘The Cutting Scene, Mandan O-kee-pa Ceremony‘, by George Catlin:

Interior of a Mandan timber medicine lodge depicting the limp bodies of two young Native American males hoisted in the air with ropes attached to wooden splints inserted through the muscles in their shoulders and chest. Below tribe member seated around a small fire watch as the two young men adorned with shields, spears, and animal skulls slip into unconsciousness during the ceremony.

The Cutting Scene, Mandan O-kee-pa Ceremony, Art Inventories Catalog

You may have seen a film representation of the O-kee-pa ceremony in the 1970 movie, ‘A Man Called Horse‘. Richard Harris plays an aristocrat who is captured by Native Americans, eventually gaining the respect of his captors and tormentors and finally joining the tribe. As part of his initiation into tribal customs he undergoes the excruciatingly painful vertical suspension by hooks embedded in his chest.

Nobody, as far as I know, has objected to the ceremony’s depiction in , ‘A Man Called Horse‘; yet the Denver Art Museum claims Caitlin’s painting provokes controversy for its exploitation of the Native American religion; or because of its goggle-eyed sideshow approach to a sacred rite; or some other such reason.

In the American fashion of obeisance to all minority cultural and religious traditions, especially Native American ones, however silly or repugnant they may be, the Museum presents the work to visitors with an apology that labels it the most controversial painting in the collection and devotes adjacent wall space to an interactive display that gives the views of art lecturers, cultural historians and Native Americans, encouraging the public, especially schoolchildren, to contribute their own remarks, which are duly and unnecessarily apologetic for the imagined offence.

According to the Museum, the ‘the tribe feels it’s wrong for the sacred ceremony to be seen by outsiders’  - although,  as the painter had been invited by the one of the tribe’s holy men to view the ritual, it seems that today’s tribal representatives (the last full-blooded Mandan died nearly forty years ago) are ignoring the wishes of other, long-dead inhabitants of North America, riding roughshod over their views of their religioun in an unhesitant act of cultural annexation.  We all visit the past as foreigners: today’s 21st Centry Native Americans are barely  connected to the 19th Century Mandan religious ceremonies or the 19th Century Mandans, or to the clearly expressed desire to share with Catlin this particular rite.

Further on in the gallery, a large canvas by a contemporary artist depicts a crucified naked woman.  This reference to a sacred symbol of Western religion provokes from the Museum no similar, sensitive exposition  of the meanings of the work, careful regard for the sensibilities of Christians, an acknowledgement of the possibility of giving offence, or interactive contrition for children. The accompanying blrub says,

Did Barbara Kruger make this image to offend? Possibly. Or it might be an ironic statement…to draw  attention to our expectation that modern art is offensive

Like Serrano’s Piss Christ, the work is understood  - as the postmodernists of the Denver Art Museum’s captioning team might have put it - as an articulation in the ongoing narrative of art and culture - against the background of a dying religion,  clung to desperately - as Obama says - by hicks living in the flyover States. No need to apologise to them.

Top tip: miles, kilometres, Fibonacci

Here’s a useful observation: The Golden Ratio is roughly the same as the ratio between miles and kilometers. As successive terms in the Fibonacci sequence approximate the Golden Ratio, the sequence comes in handy for quick conversions.

Here are the first 20 terms:

F0 F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 F13 F14 F15 F16 F17 F18 F19 F20
0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765

Using the Fibonacci, we approximate 987 miles (F16) as 1597 km. Google’s conversion tells us that 987 miles equals 1,588 km.

Not bad, eh?

Winehouse: Love is a Losing Game

This time in the US (more of which later) the hire car had an aux-in so we didn’t have to battle local FM stations with the iTrip to listen to music as we drove (I’d booked a car with satellite for the fun of listening to lunatic talk radio but the fun wore off pretty quickly).

Anyway, on one of Helen’s iPod playlists was Love is a Losing Game which I swore must have been a cover by Winehouse of some old classic originally sung by Dinah Washington or some such. I just knew I’d heard it before. I hadn’t.

Here it is then, in this version sung live with a solo guitar accompaniment at 2007’s SXSW in Austin, TX. If the single Back to Black didn’t convince you of her talents, try this. Words and music by Amy Winehouse. Performed by Amy Winehouse.

The Onion: Obama Puff Piece

a story in this week’s Time magazine is being called the definitive Barack Obama puff piece…According to political analysts, the Time piece features the most lack-of-depth reporting on Obama ever published…”I’m not quite sure how he intends to turn around the economy or get us out of Iraq,” said California resident Geoff Mills, an ardent Obama supporter who read the Time story. “But any man who prefers his steak cooked medium-rare has my vote.”

The Onion, ‘Time’ Publishes Definitive Obama Puff Piece

The Real Tuesday Weld - The Day Before You Came

The Real Tuesday Weld - The Day Before You Came

The Abba song, The Day Before You Came, covered by The Real Tuesday Weld

State-sponsored Islam in the UK

The British government is to fund a board of Islamic theologians in an attempt to sideline violent extremists…Communities Secretary Hazel Blears said it was government’s job to support Muslim leaders on controversial issues.

The BBC, Government funds Muslim thinkers

It’s absolutely fine by me if Muslim leaders wish to get together to discuss how they might help deal with the animosity towards liberal, Enlightenment values evident in some quarters of the Muslim population of the UK. Whether it’s the role of the Government to provide funding and direction for such a setup is highly questionable, given its previous embracing and subsequent rejection of self-described community leaders.

Swimming segregation

Hot on the heels of Home Secretary Harriet Harman’s proposal to legalise sex discrimination in employment comes news of my local council’s non-white swimming sessions:

A council has been fiercely criticised for holding ethnic-minority only swimming sessions.

Wolverhampton City Council employs special life-guards and instructors for the sessions, which are open to the city’s black and Asian residents only.

It claims the weekly periods are for women and children with “religious or cultural issues which would otherwise prevent them from taking part.

But furious pool-users say they amount to racial segregation and claim they are being prevented from using the pool - simply because they may be white.

The Evening Standard, Row over ethnic minority only swimming sessions for women and children

The Use of English

This almost illiterate answer in an English exam:

If he wasent doing enthing els heel help his uncle Herry at the funfair during the day. And had stoody at nigh on other thing he did was invent new rides.

“Becoues he invented a lot of new rides he won a prize. He didn’t live with his mum he lived with his wife

was given higher marks than this answer:

Quickly, it became apparent that Pip was a fantastic rider: a complete natural. But it was his love of horses that led to a tragic accident. An accident that would change his life forever.

“At the age of 7, he was training for a local competition when his horse, Mandy, swerved sideways unexpectedly, throwing Pip on to the ground, paralysed.”

The Times, Exam littered with spelling mistakes scores higher than one written fluently

Nobody cares. This is run-of-the-mill stuff for national examination marking standards in the UK.